


See no Evil, Hear no Evil, Speak no Evil

by galaxymilk



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Injury, Langst, M/M, Major Character Injury, Panic Attacks, i can't stop hurting lance, klance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 15:53:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11877840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxymilk/pseuds/galaxymilk
Summary: Lance becomes the vessel for a high-tech Galra weapon that will detonate at the mere mention of its existence. The clock is ticking, Lance, you better think fast.





	See no Evil, Hear no Evil, Speak no Evil

**Author's Note:**

> listen. i had a dream about this happening to myself and guess what? i fucking died. then my brain automatically imagines lance in this situation. i have school and work so i didn't wanna take the time to write this but u know what? it kept me up at night. it haunted me. so here it is. its 4:30 in the morning, take it. get it away from me.

The comms were chaos. Hunk was babbling about the distress call being a trap (once again), Pidge was shouting information being relayed to them from Allura on the ship-- letting them know how far they were from their lions as well as the castle itself. Keith could be heard grunting as he assumedly sliced up the enemies around him. He also called out for Shiro. Shiro’s comm was silent. 

Lance tried to tune out the others as he sprinted through the dense jungle surrounding them. The team had been split up after the Galra forces poured out from the foliage like wasps swarming out of a disturbed hive. Shiro’s voice had been level and assuring as he told them to watch their backs and head straight for the castle.

Lance’s bayard was in its original form as his rifle only seemed to slow him down. He steadied his breathing and kept a reasonable pace as he dodged vines and pushed away ferns of a variety of vibrant colors. Sweat dripped into his eyes and down his neck. The jungle around him was bursting with life of all sorts. But despite this, it was eerily silent. The only sound Lance could hear other than the buzzing in his helmet was the thudding of his own heart and the rhythmic pounding of his steps. Lance had always been a good runner. Back on earth, he had been naturally good at most sports. So he wasn’t too surprised when the stampede of Galra soldiers became background noise as he swiftly zig-zagged out of their reach. 

“Lance!” Keith’s voice pulled him back into the present. Lance winced at his unnecessarily loud voice.

“What’s up samurai, you still hanging in there?” 

 

Keith grunted and Lance could hear the sound of something dropping. “Yeah. But I can’t get ahold of Shiro.”

 

Something like worry crept into Lance’s bones, and even in the sweltering humidity of the jungle Lance felt a small chill ripple through him.

 

“He’s fine. Probably just hiding or too busy kicking butt to chat.” Lance hopped over a tree trunk that protruded bright orange things that resembled mushrooms. He could hear Keith take a deep breath. 

 

“Lance is right!” Hunk’s voice crackled, and Lance forgot the others could hear their conversation. His friend’s voice caused a wave of reassurance to wash over him. He felt his face break into a smile and was about to respond when he heard something snap next to him. 

 

Lance skidded to a halt and in one swift movement activated his bayard and aimed it where the noise had come from. Lance licked his lips and shut one eye so that he could look through the scope of his gun. The jungle had become a quiet entity once again. There was no wind that could infiltrate the dense vegetation this close to the ground, so Lance quickly dismissed the idea. After what felt like an endless standoff between Lance and a bush, he cautiously lowered his weapon. He let out a shaky breath and chuckled to himself. It sounded more than a little constricted. 

 

_ Can’t fear the unknown, _ Lance thought to himself.  _ We have enough to fear that is right in front of our faces. _

 

He rolled his shoulders, turned on his heel and started running (at a slightly quicker pace) towards the coordinates Pidge had sent to each of them. Lance cleared his throat and began to update the team on his location when something whipped out and wrapped itself around Lance’s leg. Lance was only upright long enough to feel his stomach drop to his feet, before being ripped to the side. Lance’s body crashed into the forest floor, head snapping back so violently that his helmet was torn from him. A fleeting instinct told him to hold his breath before he was yanked straight into the dense jungle. Leaves and sticks slapped and tore into his unprotected face as he was dragged. Lance kicked at the thing wrapped around him, and when that proved useless he flipped himself onto his stomach and clawed at the ground. Anything he grabbed at was ripped away, the strength of the tentacle outmatching him in every possible way. He kicked at it once more, and in response it snaked up to his knee and tightened around him like a vice. The breath Lance had been holding was ripped from him as he screamed. The air he sucked back in felt wet and wrong in his lungs, but it wasn’t poisonous. Small victories.  

 

Before a coherent thought could reach his brain though the raw panic, he was pulled into a clearing. The canopy of the trees still blocked out the sky but the area around him had minimal plants and looked rather dome-like. The thing around his leg released him Lance caught a glimpse of a dark hooded figure before his body erupted in pain and swallowed him into darkness.

 

Lance felt himself begin to surface before being pulled back under the dark waves of unconsciousness. Over and over again. He would feel parts of his body for fleeting moments, like his toes and fingers. He managed to wiggle the latter for a moment before the waxy feeling of unnatural sleep coated his mind once again. It reminded him of when he had his wisdom teeth pulled back on earth. He would occasionally wake just enough to make out the blurry figures of people in scrubs before he lost himself again. It made him dizzy. It felt like drowning. But Lance knew how to swim.

 

Lance felt a sharp pain on the inside of his left forearm. It wasn’t horrible, but it was enough to ground him. Lance focused on the feeling and refused to let himself be pulled back under. He focused long enough for words to collect in his mind. Feelings became comprehensible thoughts. 

 

_ Danger _

 

_ Escape _

 

“Ah, he’s awoken.”

 

Lance felt a cold hand cup the side of his face. He fought the urge to lean into it. Lance could feel his body coming back to him bit by bit. The relief he felt was fleeting, and soon he found himself wishing he was numb again. His chest was on  _ fire _ . Lance’s eyes fluttered open and the world swam before him. There was a pressure on his forehead, keeping him from lifting his head. A hooded figure was perched next to Lance, looking down at him with glowing yellow eyes. To his right, some creature with long, snake like limbs for arms loomed. One of the arms was above Lance’s line of sight, and he then understood what was holding his head down. He sucked in a panicked breath and tried to squirm, although his body didn’t want to obey him yet. 

 

“Shh, child. Do not resist. The procedure is almost complete.” The hooded figure’s voice rasped. Lance’s eyes followed her as best he could and realized both of her hands were near his chest. The burning there had not ceased. It was felt as though he was being pulled apart. It was completely and utterly  _ wrong _ .

 

“What are you doin’ t’ me?” Lance slurred, his tongue too heavy in his mouth.

 

She chuckled. “We have been watching you for quite a long time, Blue Paladin. You are the perfect candidate for my wonderful creation.” 

 

The words didn’t make sense to him. The heat in his chest pulsed. Lance felt a whimper escape him.

 

“There is much uncertainty in your heart, there is no doubt in that. This makes you weak. The weakest of them all.” She hums. “Despite this, you are more articulate than the others; including the champion himself. You are empathetic, and the other paladins will listen to you. That is why you are perfect.” 

 

Her gaze flicked to the creature on the other side of Lance before returning to him. Lance felt the prick in his arm once again. 

 

“What I have implanted inside of you is beautiful and complex. It knows what you know, My dear. Not even you can maneuver around it.”

 

Black began to creep into Lance’s vision, and he fought it with every fiber in his body. The figure moved over Lance, encasing his entire field of vision. 

 

“This device is now a part of you. It will detonate in sixty varga. Within this amount of time you will convince the Champion to give his lion to Zarkon. You will do this by any means necessary. If you mention the device to anyone, it will detonate immediately.”

 

The metallic scent of blood filled Lance’s nose and cleared his mind for a moment. He felt paralyzed with horror. This thing’s hands were inside of his body, altering him to become a living weapon. Lance couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. Emotions battled within him: fear, anger,  _ shame _ . 

 

“Why?” His voice was barely a whisper. 

 

She grinned and fear gripped at his heart.

 

“My dear friends have always chosen blatant tactics to destroy you paladins. But I believe that something more discreet might prove effective,” Her grizzly hands returned to Lance’s chest. “If you fail to keep quiet, or run out of time, the blast will be large enough to destroy most of the Altean Palace. If you desert your team and perish, the device will reassemble and move to another paladin. Perhaps the yellow? He is quite cowardly.” 

 

Fury surged through Lance as the darkness encased his vision and he was dragged, kicking and screaming into the abyss. 

 

“Do not disappoint me, child.” 

  
  
  


When Lance awoke he was alone. The fire in his chest was now dull smolder. Lance shot up, head whipping around in every direction despite his dizziness. He was completely and utterly alone. The glint of light though the leaves didn’t look too different than when he had been running. It must have not been too long, even if the event had felt like centuries. Lance almost pushed himself to believe it had been a dream. Maybe he had been pricked by a poisonous plant that had conjured up one of his worst nightmares. His armor, which was still in place on his body, only seemed to support that theory. 

 

Cautiously, Lance removed his chest plate and peeled down his black flight suit. What greeted him had Lance feeling as though he had been doused with ice water. An incision, about four inches long, and covered with drying blood stood out in stark contrast against his tanned skin. It began right below his chest and carved downwards towards his belly button. Lance traced it with a trembling finger. He could not feet any foreign object within, but Lance knew without a doubt that this had not been a dream. They had done a good job at cleaning him up. There was no blood anywhere. It made him feel violated, nauseous. Lance felt a scream climbing its way up his throat, but he pushed it back down. He had to get back to his team. He could panic about this later. He twisted around and grabbed his bayard, which had thankfully been left next to his head, and took off back into the jungle. 

 

His chest was painful, but not debilitating. Lance spotted the familiar shade of blue and leaned down to grab his discarded helmet without stopping. Lance fought to keep his mind empty as he pushed the helmet back into place and sent a thought out to Blue. Lance was immediately met with the familiar sensation of her wrapping around his mind, sending feelings of confusion, love, and relief his way. Her presence comforted him in a way that left him nearly breathless, and he told her as much. Assuring her that he was safe and there was nothing to worry about. He felt a fleeting sense of disbelief before more calming thoughts continued to surround him. Lance pushed a button on the side of his helmet to active the comms and bring up Pidge’s coordinates once again. He was nearly there. He had almost made it.

 

_ How had he let this happen _

 

“Hey guys.” Lance tried for calm, and winced when the sound that actually came out was strained and cracked. 

 

Shouts from various voices met him almost immediately.

 

“Where are you?”

 

“Are you okay?!”

 

“What happened?”

 

Lance tried to focus on one question at a time but his mind was still fuzzy and he was instantly overwhelmed. 

 

“I’m almost to the castle, sorry guys. I think I should've drank more water earlier because the heat was too much. I think I passed out. How long has it been?”

 

The comms were quiet for a moment. Before Keith’s voice filled his ears.

 

“About two hours. Shiro is hurt, you need to get back here immediately.” 

 

“What? Is he okay? How bad is it?”

 

“Bad enough. We’re wasting time, Lance!”

 

Lance chewed on his bottom lip. Shiro had been hurt and they were all waiting for him. He had been captured by the enemy. This was his fault. He hadn’t been cautious enough and this was  _ all his fault _ . Lance stumbled on violet colored vines that cascaded across the jungle floor, but managed to catch himself. His eyes stung but he refused to let himself cry. 

 

Moments later Lance burst through the edge of the jungle. He was immediately met by the sight of the other paladins. Shiro was sitting against the Black Lion’s giant paw, Keith kneeling next to him. White bandages stained red were wrapped around Shiro’s thigh, right below his armor. Guilt tugged at Lance’s heart. He was keeping their leader from getting medical treatment. Hunk and Pidge both came jogging up to him. Hunk placed a hand on his shoulder and Pidge gripped his arm. They were asking him questions, concerned looks gracing both of their faces. Lance could barely hear them, head too filled with static. He put on his best smile and nodded anyways. Patting Hunk and ruffling Pidge’s hair until the look was gone and she was grumbling. Hunk’s worried look never fully went away, but he didn’t question any further. The three of them made their way over to Keith and Shiro. 

 

“Lance, I’m glad you’re alright.” Shiro said, sounding genuinely relieved. Lance broke eye contact and gave him and quick nod.

 

“What the hell, Lance?” Keith growled. He was crouched next to Shiro, keeping pressure on his wound. 

 

Lance couldn’t have come up with a come back even if he wanted to.

 

“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

 

Keiths frown deepened, but he thankfully didn’t ridicule Lance. Not that it would've mattered if he did, Lance mind was elsewhere, racing frantically.  

 

“Let's get back to the castle. I’ll ride with Shiro in Black, Red can make it back on her own.” Keith ordered. 

 

The team murmured in agreement before everyone made their way towards their lions. Keith helped Shiro up. Hunk gave Lance a searching look.

 

“You’re okay to fly?”

 

“Yeah, man.” Lance gave him a toothy grin that he hoped didn’t look like a grimace. “Thanks for looking out.” He turned and walked towards Blue before Hunk got a chance to see though his facade. Blue lowered her head to the ground and opened her jaws for Lance. He stepped in and ran his hand along the side of her. He could feel her trying to look into his mind but he kept a firm wall up. He made sure to send her generous amounts of love and assurance as well, he didn’t want to upset his girl. But he couldn’t risk getting her destroyed. He didn’t yet know how this thing inside of him worked--how much it knew. He absentmindedly ran a hand over his chest.

 

“Let’s go home, baby girl.”

  
  


Once Blue touched down in the hangars, Lance wasn’t filled with the usual relief he felt after a mission. If anything, he felt much worse. He was a walking timebomb, and he was inside of the castle. One wrong move and every one of his friends would be blown to bits. Panic prickled at his head and made his palms sweat. Blue was becoming more and more frantic in his mind, demanding information. Lance took a breath. 

 

“I’m alright, Blue. I’m sorry for worrying you,” He swallowed. “I’m tired and worried about Shiro, but I promise everything is okay.” 

 

Half of that was true, at least. 

 

Blue must’ve heard the pleading tone in his voice, because she relented her digging in his mind. Lance relaxed just a fraction. After leaving the hangars, Lance made his way into the medbay, where the rest of the team was. Allura was inspecting Shiro while Coran appeared to be setting up a pod for him. Shiro was rubbing the back of his neck, looking sheepish as Allura reprimanded him for not being careful. Voltron needs their leader, she reminded him. Though her voice held no trace of true anger. 

 

_ The paladins of Voltron cannot be careless _

 

Lance’s head was beginning to float again. Only the constant stream of fear and guilt kept him grounded. He realized, vaguely, that he must’ve been in shock. 

 

“Maybe Lance should get in a pod too?” Hunk suggested, pressing two fingers together nervously.

 

Lance heard his neck crack as he snapped his attention towards his yellow clad friend. 

 

“That might not be a bad idea,” Pidge hummed. “He said he passed out, he might have an injury from the fall that he hasn’t noticed yet.” 

 

“No!” 

 

Everyone’s eyes in the room landed on Lance. He felt the blood drain from his face. He hadn’t meant to yell. Fuck, he couldn’t do this. If he got in the pod it would pick up on the thing in his body and-

 

_ I really am the weakest _

 

“Lance? Maybe you should sit down.” Allura’s voice was just barely registering in his whirring mind.

 

“I’m claustrophobic,” Lance suddenly blurted. “I don’t want to get in there unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

 

There was a presence next to him. Lance almost flinched as Keith carefully put a hand on his shoulder. His brows were furrowed, but he didn’t look angry. Deep indigo eyes searched his, and Lance suddenly felt as though he were made of glass.

 

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. No one’s forcing anything.” Keith said. He looked almost nervous, as though he wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to do. Lance managed a crooked smile at him. The first somewhat-genuine one since the whole ordeal had begun.

 

“Thanks, mullet.” Lance turned to the others. “Sorry about that, guys. I’m exhausted, I think I might head to bed.” He hooked a thumb over his shoulder, towards the doors. Their faces all smoothed into understanding before nodding and wishing him a good night. Lance turned and began to head to his room, he desperately needed to be alone. Shiro called out to him just as he reached the doors. Lance felt dread pool in his stomach.

 

“Lance, remember that you need to take care of yourself. Take responsibility for your health, we have enough to worry about as is,” He chuckled lightly, before gesturing at his leg. “Not that I should be saying anything.”

 

Lance didn’t even bother plastering on a fake smile as the words sunk into him.

 

_ Take responsibility  _

 

“Yes, sir.”

  
  
  


Lance laid on his bed. It had been hours since he left. He had skipped dinner, Pidge had knocked on his door before entering and asking if he needed anything. He pretended to be asleep, and she left a tray of food and two glasses of water next to his bed. He watched the condensation build into droplets on the outside of the glasses before dripping and pooling onto the table. Lance groaned and rolled onto his back. He stared unseeingly at the gray ceiling. He listened to his heartbeat until his entire body seemed to pulse with it. Lance’s vision began to swim, and this time he did nothing to stop it. Tears streaked down the sides of his face and wet his hair. 

 

Lance thought of his mom, his siblings, his home. He had been so ungrateful before, never entertaining the possibility that he would never see them again. But now that was a very real, very possible thing. It was more than a horrible idea, it was reality. Lance would give a limb to crawl into his mother’s warm arms. He didn’t want to die, he wanted to see them all again. He felt his breathing pick up. The rhythm in his chest began to feel like a bird trapped in a cage. There was sand in his lungs, grating against his throat with every breath. Lance’s hand flew up to his chest. His fingers met the uneven line of his scabbed skin. Lance grit his teeth and tried to think clearly. He had limited options.

  1. He could risk trying to find a way to tell his teammates about the device, hoping that it had limited technology and wouldn’t find out and go off. 
  2. Lance could talk to Shiro in private, somehow convincing him to give up the Black Lion, and pray that the Glara wouldn’t blow him up.
  3. He could eject himself into space on the third day, letting himself explode without harm to anyone else. 
  4. He could find a way to remove the device himself. 



 

The first two options were mentally crossed off immediately. The third was a more realistic option. But hadn’t the witch said that the device would recover and then latch onto another? That option was out as well. Shiro had told Lance to take care of himself--to be responsible for once. He may not have meant so in this situation, but Lance took his advice with a grain of salt. This was Lance’s problem. He could do this, all he had to do was keep his mouth shut. By the time Lance came to this conclusion, his breath and heart had begun to even out. Lance sat up, running a hand through his hair. He slapped his hands against his cheeks. He could do this. 

  
  
  


The doors to the medbay made a quiet whooshing sound as he crept into the room. Shiro’s pod was empty, Lance guessed that he had only been in there a couple hours. He felt relief that there hadn’t been any serious damage. The pod was still gleaming, it self cleaned itself to an extent, Coran had told Lance once. It filled the room with a soft green glow. 

 

Lance knew what he was looking for, he had fiddled with it once when he had been cleaning the pods with Coran. He quietly searched until he found the item. 

 

“Ah.” He breathed, holding up the device. It was a small tablet, glassy black like a tv screen. Lance pressed a flinger to the screen and the device lit up in the familiar Altean blue. He pressed a few buttons before it became transparent. Lance took a deep breath before removing his shirt and holding it over the incision on his chest. The machine worked like a high-tech handheld x-ray, and instantly became a window into Lance’s body. 

 

His chest constricted as he looked down at the screen. There, just below his sternum, was some kind of spider-like  _ thing. _ Horror twisted in his gut like a knife. The center was shaped like a hexagon, glowing lines decorated the body. It was about the size of a golf ball. Six legs protruded from the body, they appeared to the latched onto his ribs. Lance sucked in a horrified gasp before slamming a hand over his mouth. He was going to vomit, or pass out. 

 

_ Focus. _

 

Lance stood up straighter and looked back down. The device didn’t move, it didn’t seem  _ alive  _ so to speak. It looked much more like machinery than something organic, but it definitely looked Galra. Goosebumps fanned out across Lance’s body. 

 

_ At least you know. It’s better to know. _ Lance reminded himself. He put back the tablet and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. If he had a panic attack in here someone would definitely find out. He breathed in through his nose,  _ one two three _ , out through his mouth,  _ three two one _ . He could handle this. He was already handling this. 

 

Lance sat down on the bed that Shiro had been laying in earlier than day. He now had information on the device, but he realized that he didn’t know what to do with it. It was clearly active, could it see what he saw? Hear what he heard? It didn’t seem to be able to read his thoughts, thankfully. Lance couldn’t risk writing an SOS note just in case. He huffed in defeat. This wasn’t something he could solve in a day, and he only had two left, according to the witch. But he was exhausted, mentally and physically. Nothing good came from overworking yourself- he had seen it first hand from Pidge and Shiro. He’d sleep on it, he decided. He’d come up from something the next day.

 

Lance headed back into his room, collapsing on his bed. He fell asleep before he could second guess his decision. He dreamed of Varadero beach. He laid on the white sands and looked down to see the wound on his chest open and bleeding. Silver spindly legs glinted in the sunlight. Lance screamed, and looked up only the see the ocean burning, flames lapping the shore like the tide.

  
  
  


Lance wasn’t able to come up with a plan, due to early morning training. He missed shots on the bots, and lost sparring fights with both Hunk and Keith. It didn’t matter. None of this mattered in comparison to what Lance was dealing with. But the others didn’t know that, couldn’t possibly know. So he toughed through Keiths punches and Allura’s questioning stares. When they took a water break, Lance sat away from the others. He needed to think of a way to extract the device. His incision was throbbing from all of the movement. Maybe if he went in a healing pod without anyone knowing, it would take it out on its own? No, if it detected anything Galra it would probably set off an alarm or something. 

 

“Lance!” Dark hair and irritated eyes filled his vision. 

 

“Wha- What?” Lance crossed his arms over his chest.

 

“We’ve been calling you for two minutes! What are you doing?” 

 

Lance’s snarky retort was lost on his tongue as he looked directly into Keith’s eyes. They were  _ worried.  _ His eyes were endless, the almost purple color ringed with a dark blue. The color calmed him, like water dousing a raging fire. Despite the fiery boy owning them. Lance bit his tongue, looking away. He could feel warmth coloring his cheeks, embarrassed at his own thoughts. This only seemed to anger Keith more. 

 

“Have you been paying attention at all today? You’re sucking more than usual.”

 

“Whatever.”

 

_ You won’t get hurt because of me _

 

A pause. “Spar with me again.”

 

Lance looked up. Behind Keith, the others were quiet. All them looking away except for Shiro. It was obvious that they were listening in. Lance realized he was acting very out of character and unusual. That could raise suspicions.

 

“Fine.”

 

The two of them faced each other in the middle of the room. None of the paladins were wearing armor. Keith was dressed in his usual black tee and pants. Lance was wearing a black tank top that he found in his closet  _ in case his chest started to bleed,  _ and some loose grey pants. If Lance won and got out of this quickly, he could ask to leave and get some time alone to start planning. He narrowed his eyes at his rival and got into a fighting stance. 

 

Keith’s shoulders seemed to relax before falling into a similar position. Without warning, Keith shot out like a bullet at Lance, fist aimed right at his face. Lance dodged, just barely, air whisking by him. Lance wasn’t a close range fighter, but he could manage this. For having such a lanky frame, Lance was shockingly agile. Before Keith balanced himself for another swing, Lance shot out solid fist into Keith’s chest. Keith’s eyes were wide as they followed Lance’s hand. His surprise only lasted for a moment because before Lance knew it Keith had grabbed his arm and twisted him around. He could feel the wound on his chest begin to open and shouted in discomfort. Lance curled in on himself for a moment before slamming a foot down on Keith’s toe. Keith growled and Lance swung his elbow out behind him, clipping Keith’s shoulder. The grip on his arm was released. They were fighting dirty. Keith whirled around to look at Lance. His eyes were shining, and Lance wanted to laugh. He was actually having  _ fun.  _ They were about to lunge at each other once again when Lance felt something  _ move _ inside of him. He made a choked noise and stopped dead. 

 

Searing pain shot through him, and before he could shout, a screaming urge to cough overtook him. Lance doubled over in a hacking fit, hands desperately clawing at his chest. There were hands on him in an instant

 

_ No _

 

Lance could feel Shiro’s cold, metal hand on his back and his head was lifted by Keith. His eyes were wide and frantic. Lance could see his mouth forming his name. 

 

_ No, no, please no _

 

Lance squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip until warm copper flooded his mouth. He pushed down the urge to cough with everything in him. He focused on his chest. There was no more moving, but the pain was intense and fresh.

 

“Lance, buddy, talk to me please.” Hunk was hovering behind Keith, who still had a hand on Lance’s face. 

 

“M’fine.” Lance rasped. He shrugged away from Keith’s hand, and instantly missed it. He stood up and swayed for a moment before backing away from the others. Everyone was now in the room, even Coran had come in. He looked worried, they all did.  _ Fuck. _

 

“You’re not, clearly,” Keith said. His jaw flexed. “Did I hit you too hard or-”

 

“No. I don’t know.” Lance felt his fists clenching and unclenching. 

 

“Lance, is this from the mission yesterday? Did you actually get hurt?” The tone of Shiro’s voice was so caring it made Lance want to sink into the floor.

 

“I told you guys.” Pidge murmured, but there was undeniable worry in her tone as well. 

 

“No! God, can you all just leave me alone?” Lance snapped.

 

_ I’m sorry _

 

“Dude, it’s cause we care about you.” Pidge frowned. 

 

“Well stop! Just because I’m not a damn genius like you or Hunk, a prodigy like Keith, or a freaking superhuman like Shiro doesn’t mean you have to baby me!” 

 

_ I can’t let any of you get hurt because of me _

 

“I’d rather you treat me like shit than pity me.” Lance gritted out. 

 

_ This is all my fault _

 

Lance shoved his hands in his pockets and stalked out of the room. He heard Hunk sniffling as the doors shut. 

  
  


Lance holed up in his room for the rest of the day. Hunk, Shiro, and Allura each tried to coax him out, but he refused. He assured them he wasn’t sick and didn’t need to get checked out. He was tired and needed space. He paced his room for so long he thought he might be wearing trenches into the floor. His shirt was discarded, having been dirtied. Keith had reopened the wound just enough for it to bleed. Lance didn’t care, the pain he felt was a quiet hum compared to the shrieking fear that was threatening to rip him apart. The others knew something was wrong, they had gotten too close and Lance had lashed out like a cornered animal. He felt pathetic. 

 

He slowed his pacing until he came to a complete stop, right in front of his mirror. Dark circles were beginning to form under cerulean eyes. He was beginning to break out just under his hairline, as he usually did when under stress, if he didn’t take care of it. Which he hadn’t been. 

 

Lance didn’t want to be useless. He wanted to have a “thing”, like the rest of them. He hadn’t meant what he said. He loved hearing about Hunk and Pidge’s achievements, even if he didn’t understand them. He was proud of Keith. He felt a warm sense of pride when he saw his rival kick ass, he often found himself bragging about it to the aliens they met. Keith’s ears would tinge pink and the warmth in his belly would become scorching. Lance respected Shiro more than anyone, he was his  _ hero _ . He hadn’t meant to snap at them. 

 

His eyes fell from his reflection and onto his hands. With a hollow sense of resolution and finality, Lance knew what he had to do. There was only one day left. 

  
  
  


When Lance left his room, the halls were dark and quiet. He had been lost in his head for longer than he thought. Next to his door was a bowl of food goo. The napkin under it had a drawing of a big, smiling yellow lion. A spark of warmth filled him. This was why he had to do this. To protect his family. 

 

Lance made his way into the medbay once again. He hadn’t bothered to change, and was dressed in his grey and blue baseball shirt and blue boxer shorts. Lance didn’t know where the scalpels were exactly, but he knew they were in here somewhere. He fished through drawers and cabinets until he found a familiar white case. Lance still didn’t know if the device could see through his eyes, so he didn’t look down at the knives themselves. Could it feel what he felt? If so, there was no way this could ever work. Hopelessness was beginning to encase him, but he forced it away. There was only one way to find out. This was the only way. 

 

Lance sat down on the edge of the table Coran used to treat injuries before using the pods. He put a towel down on his lap to soak up most of the blood, he hoped. Lance lifted his shirt and stuffed the edges of it until his mouth. He used the tablet from before to check the site. His resolution only intensified as he saw that while the body of the device had remained the same, the legs had lengthened and were now curving behind his ribcage, one looked to be pressed up against a lung. It made sense. Lance said a quick prayer before stalling any longer.

 

Lance squared his shoulders and shut his eyes. Blood roared in his ears as he picked up the case and opened it, blindly feeling the multiple scalpels. If it could feel through him, this would be a blaring siren and red, flashing warning light. 

 

He waited. After a moment, he even poked his finger with the tip of one hard enough to feel wetness. 

 

Nothing.

 

_ Just hearing and sight, then _ . Lance thanked whatever being was watching over him for giving him this one mercy. Lance picked the biggest scalpel he could feel, and plucked it out of the case. He bit down hard on the edge of his shirt. He had to do this before he changed his mind. He used one hand to find the cut and guided the tip of the blade to meet it. He could do this. All he needed to do was not scream or pass out long enough to remove the bomb and crawl into a healing pod. He believed (because he had to) that once the device was out, it would no longer be connected to him and therefore, useless. 

 

Lance gripped the blade, trying to stop its trembling as he pointed the edge at his chest. He could do this. He  _ would  _ do this. 

 

Three

 

Two

 

“Lance?”

 

The scalpel dropped from Lance’s hand and clattered onto the floor.

 

_ Don’t look at it! _

 

Lance yanked his shirt back over him and whipped around toward the offending voice. There, with a towel around his neck, sweat pants, and dripping hair, was Keith. Lance could feel his mouth drop open, a hundred different excuses on the tip of his tongue, all of them useless. He couldn’t find anything to say. 

 

Keith began to walk closer to Lance, and Lance made no move to stop him. His mind was a buzzing, empty void. A smooth hand wrapped gently around his wrist. It was warm, he wasn’t wearing gloves, Lance absently noted. 

 

“Come on, we can’t stay in here.” Keith said, his voice lacked any kind of aggression or mistrust. 

 

Lance met him with wide, confused eyes before sliding off of the table and standing dumbly next to him. Keith’s hand still hadn’t released his wrist. Lance was sort of glad.

 

Lance let Keith lead him out of the medbay and down the halls. Feeling began to return to him and his thoughts began to clear. Keith was probably taking him to Shiro or Allura to be put on lockdown. He probably was thinking Lance was insane and needed to be put in a straightjacket. Lance looked around and saw that they weren’t heading towards the bedrooms. He knew these halls, though. This was a very familiar part of the ship. 

 

Keith slowed his pace before releasing Lance’s arm and leading him into the bridge. 

 

“Sit here.” Keith said, heading to the control panel. Lance obeyed, just this once. 

 

Keith typed for a moment before the star charts flooded the room. Constellations and planets danced around them. The lights around Lance zoomed by as the milky way was brought into view before engulfing him. Then, his precious planet greeted him. The contours of his home country were displayed before him, front and center. Any thoughts of the Galra or his situation were erased for a moment. 

 

Keith quietly sat next to him, wrapping his arms around his knees. His body radiated heat, Lance wanted to be smothered in it. 

 

“How’d you know?” Lance spoke for the first time since Keith had found him.

 

Lance felt him shrug, more than he saw it. 

 

“Coran mentioned once that you come here when you feel homesick,” Keith placed his chin in-between his knees. He wouldn’t meet Lance’s eyes, but Lance could see pink dusting his pale cheeks. “I thought it might make you happy, or something.” 

 

Lance hummed, his face sporting a similar color, as he leaned back on his arms. They sat in tense silence for a moment before Keith sighed. 

 

“Look, Lance, I can tell something’s been wrong. I won’t ask the details — unless it's about your health or the team, it isn’t really my business,” He lifted his head and met Lance’s eyes. The sincerity in them left Lance floored. “But  _ please _ don’t do anything stupid. Back on earth, in the foster homes, I saw what people would do to themselves to stop the pain. I don’t know what I would do if you felt that that was your only option. I get that we’re not close but you —you can talk to me, if you want. I’m right next door.” 

 

A bubble of laughter popped in Lance’s throat and he giggled in a way that sounded almost hysterical. Keith’s eyes widened before narrowing. His guard seemed to almost close off before he caught sight of Lance’s tears dripping onto the floor. 

 

“Oh—oh no.” Keith’s hands raised in a way that made Lance unsure whether he wanted to shield himself or touch Lance. 

 

“Calm down, mullet.” Lance said, giving him a watery smile. A lightness bloomed within Lance that had him feeling as though he could breathe for the first time in days.

 

“Thank you, I mean it”

 

Keith lowered his hands, looking at Lance cautiously before nodding. Lance took a deep breath before lowering himself onto his back. He tugged at the back of Keith’s shirt. Keith raised an eyebrow before huffing and laying back as well. 

 

“Did you know I’m from Cuba?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Do you know which part?”

 

Keith was quiet for a moment before Lance saw him shake his head out of the corner of his eye. Lance pointed at the thin strip of land on the edge of the island.

 

“Playa Varadero. I basically grew up on that beach.” Lance smiled. He turned his head and saw that Keith was gazing at him, rather than the projection. Lance’s eyes followed Keith’s tongue as he licked his lips before turning to the map.

 

“What’s it like?”

 

Lance recalled his blurry memories of white sands, turquoise waves, and warm breezes and relayed them to Keith. He talked about his family and his mom’s cooking. He moved closer to Keith to point out different parts of the map before feeling Keith’s head roll against his. His even breathing letting Lance know that he had fallen asleep. Lance huffed out a breath of laughter, ignoring the surprise at how  _ fond _ he sounded. He let his head rest against Keith’s, allowed their arms to be pressed together, let Keith’s foot stay hooked over his ankle. He fell asleep before any other thoughts could chase away his dreams of building a sand castle replica of the Altean ship with Keith on Varadero. 

  
  
  


Lance was ripped from his dreams as a familiar tearing pain set him aflame. Lance muffled his scream as he hunched over, stars spotting his vision. His chest shifted. He tasted metal in his mouth. Once the pain became bearable, Lance shot up. He was alone, but a familiar red jacket had been thrown over him. Lance would’ve been pleased if his mind wasn’t a swirling mess of panic. Today was his last day. There was nothing he could do, he hadn’t thought of anything. Thoughts on overdrive, Lance began to dash back into the medbay. He had to take it out, it was the  _ only way _ . It could see. It could hear. But it couldn’t feel.

 

It couldn’t feel. 

 

Lance was a fucking idiot. 

 

He changed direction and headed into the dining room. The muffled sounds of his friends eating filled his ears. 

 

“Hey guys!” Lance shouted much too loud. 

 

“Lance!” Hunk cried and bear hugged his friend. Lance tried not to scream at the pressure put on his chest.

 

“H-hey buddy!” 

 

“Oh, Lance I’m so glad you’re okay! I was so worried. Are you feeling better?” Hunk’s big, brown eyes met his. 

 

Lance felt like he was going to vibrate out of his skin. “Good as new.” 

 

He looked towards the table to see Shiro and Allura both smiling at him. Pidge gave him a quick wave before turning back to Keith, explaining something about wormholes. Keith quirked a smile at him. Lance stalked towards them. The forced smile on his face feeling as though it were about to rip his cheeks. Keith’s smile fell and his eyebrows knitted together. 

 

“Hey, Pidgeotto, mind if I sit next to Keith?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I wanna catch up with my buddy, y’know? Got to get this Voltron bonding stuff down.” Lance laughed, it sounded grating even to his own ears. Pidge seemed to catch on to something because she gave him a scrutinizing look before picking up her laptop and scooting over a seat.

 

“Alright, dude.”

 

Lance sat down and looked straight ahead. Hunk slid a bowl of breakfast goo in front of him and Lance shoved a spoonful into his mouth.

 

“What’s going on?” Keith whispered. 

 

Lance put a hand on Keith’s thigh, without looking at him. Keith seemed to choke on air. Lance didn’t have time for this. He gave Keith’s thigh a quick squeeze before be began to draw on his leg.

 

_ Dash, dot, dot, pause, dash, dash, dash... _

 

Lance’s brother had taught him Morse Code when they used to play spies. They would do it during dinner and drive their mom crazy.

 

_ Dash, dash, dash, dot.. _

 

Lance continued to trace along Keith’s thigh until-- 

 

“Don’t say anything?” Keith frowned. Lance pinched him. This beautiful idiot was going to get them all killed. Keith looked at him, offended, until understanding reached him eyes. His eyebrows raised. Lance let his internal panic become translucent.

 

“What was that, Keith?” Shiro asked from across the table.

 

“Nothing! Nothing, sorry.” Keith said quickly. Lance stuffed another bite of food into his mouth. 

 

Lance continued to write on Keith’s leg, never once looking down. 

 

**_Galra bomb in chest_ **

 

**_Can hear and see_ **

 

**_Out of time_ **

 

Lance could feel Keith’s horrified gaze on him. But all he felt was relief. Someone else now knew, he had figured it out. There was  _ hope _ . Even if it meant Lance wouldn’t make it, the others could find a way to safety. Tears pricked at his eyes. 

 

“Coran,” Keith’s voice cracked and he cleared his throat. “I, uh, have a really bad headache. Could we maybe go to the pods and check me out?” 

 

“Of course, my boy.” Coran twisted his mustache between two fingers. “Did this just now start?”

 

“Yeah. It’s uh-- ow. It's getting worse. Can we hurry?” 

 

Lance wanted to smack himself. Shiro narrowed his eyes at Keith and he opened his mouth to speak, but Keith cut him off.

 

“Shiro! You come too. Also Hunk, Pidge, and Allura, it’ll be fun. Let’s go  _ right now _ .” Keith’s voice became a growl.

 

“What about Lance?” Pidge asked.

 

“He’s fine where he is. Lance, go do the dishes.” Keith asserted. Lance gave him a deadpan look before flashing a smile at everyone.

 

“I’ll meet you all there. Don’t miss me too much.” 

 

Lance watched Keith push everyone out of the dining room, as they frowned in confusion. Lance could hear murmuring, and someone began to shout so he slammed his hands over his ears and began to sing an old Spanish lullaby he used to sing to his nieces and nephews. He nearly finished before Shiro entered the room, looking distressed. 

 

“Let’s go help Keith.” Shiro offered. Lance looked up at him questioningly. Shiro only nodded, looking grim.

 

“No,” Lance said, frowning. “It’s better,  _ safer _ , if I stay here.”

 

Shiro’s hand gripped onto Lance’s arm and started tapping.

 

**_Help you_ **

 

**_Keep you safe_ **

 

Lance wanted to sob. Instead he bit his tongue and nodded at Shiro before following him towards the medbay. 

 

Everyone was there, they appeared to be busy with other tasks but Lance could see the fleeting glances at him. Keith was sitting on the table that Lance had been the other night. He distantly noticed that the scalpel had been picked up and put away. Keith looked at him and patted the spot next to him.

 

“Sit with me.” 

 

Lance swallowed the bile rising in his throat and made his way over. As soon as he sat down, two small hands were at the sides of his head. He started, but a soft flick to his ear calmed his nerves.  _ Pidge _ .

 

Two soft plugs were pushed into each ear, and with that, Lance’s world was silent. He could see Hunk say his name, worry creasing his features, but no sound reached him. Lance gave a slow shake of his head. The fake calm in the room seemed to break, but Lance wasn’t sure. It looked like Pidge, Allura, and Shiro were all arguing, Hunk trying to diffuse the fight. Lance felt a hand cover his and looked over to see Keith staring at him intently. Lance squeezed his hand back. 

 

Coran calmly walked over to Keith, standing in front of him. He spoke to Keith, and looked only at Keith, but Lance could feel Coran’s hand give his forearm and quick squeeze before slightly lifting up his shirt. Lance saw tears fill Hunk’s eyes, as well as the horror clear as day on the other’s faces before turning his attention to the ceiling. Keith’s grip on his hand was near painful, but it was keeping his head on straight. Lance could feel Coran poking and prodding at him before his chest constricted and the thing within him moved once more. It was  _ growing _ . Becoming more entwined and tangled up in Lance’s body. He screamed before he could stop himself. Not that it mattered, he couldn’t hear it anyways. 

 

More hands were on him, but Lance’s mind was becoming foggy. The taste of blood was back in his mouth and i could feel it drip down his cheek. He needed to be sent away. They were out of time. Everyone he loved was going to die. Lance felt his body shift into a lying position, and his shirt was pulled over his head. Familiar hands, calloused but smooth were back on his face. He could feel Keith’s thumbs brushing edges of his eyelids. Lance was probably crying again. There were sharp pricks on him for a moment, but then the agony in his chest began to ebb away. Though the thick sludge in his mind stayed put. Lance couldn’t see or hear a thing, but he felt safe in the hands of his team, in the hands of his friends. 

  
  
  


When Lance’s mind found him again, he could hear the blipping of a heart monitor, as well as soft breathing. Lance’s eyes fluttered open, and he lived in a moment of ignorant bliss before his memory caught up with him. He shot forward, breath strangled, looking around him in a blind panic. Had it not gone off yet? How much time was left? How far could he get in the least amount of time?

 

Lance could hear a snort and mumbling next to him, before someone sat up.

 

“Oh--oh god, Lance! Calm down, everything’s okay.” Keith moved into Lance’s field of vision and searched his face.

 

“The bomb.” Lance choked.

 

“It’s gone. Coran got it, and it deactivated as soon as it was removed. You’re okay.” Keith pushed Lance’s hair out of his eyes before calling for Shiro over his shoulder. 

 

Soon the whole gang was in the room and surrounding Lance. Hunk and Pidge each grabbed an arm and hung on for dear life. Shiro’s eyes were filled with guilt as he apologized for not realizing the severity of Lance’s outbursts.

 

“I should’ve known you would never do that unless something was extremely wrong.”

 

“I could’ve dealt with it better. It took me until the last day to come up with something.” Lance stared at his hands.

 

“I wouldn’t have been able to come up with something in time.” Keith blurted. 

 

“Me either!” Hunk exclaimed. 

 

“I would’ve accidentally set it off within the hour it was implanted.” Pidge laughed.

 

Shiro nodded, grin on his face. “They chose the wrong person to pick on.”

 

Lance remembered the words of the druid witch the day she captured him.

 

_ You are the perfect candidate. _

 

_ The weakest of them all. _

 

Lance smiled at the others. His  _ family _ . He had done it, he had kept them safe. His anxieties left him in a fit of laughter. He wrapped his arms around Hunk and Pidge and laughed until tears dripped down his face and off of his chin. He could feel the smiles of his friends and relished as they ruffled his hair and patted his back. 

 

He had done it. 

  
  
  


That night, Lance found himself back in the bridge in search of the star charts. But someone had beat him to it. Lance could make out Keith’s form laying on the ground, hands behind his head. The earth turned in front of him, the stars lighting him in an almost ethereal glow. Lance grinned before clearing his throat and walking towards him. Keith flinched, but relaxed and glared once he met Lance’s smug face. 

 

“You didn’t need to sneak up on me.” 

 

“Oh, but I did, Dearest mullet boy.” Lance flopped down next to Keith. The boy who had trusted Lance without a second thought. The boy who had saved his life. 

 

Keith grumbled and slid back onto the floor. 

 

“Come with me to Varadero Beach?” 

 

Keith’s head rolled to the side. His face became open and vulnerable so quickly it left Lance breathless. 

 

“What?”

 

“When we’re back, I mean. After we’ve saved the universe. I want to introduce you to my family. If that's okay?” Lance’s voice grew in pitch as he saw Keith’s eyes widen. He nodded rapidly. Lance’s bravery swelled, and he reached down to grab Keith’s hand, lacing their fingers together. He hoped it was enough to get his message across. For all Lance talked, none of the words seemed right in that moment. They just weren't enough. 

 

But actions seemed to be, because Keith snaked his other arm around Lance’s neck before pressing their foreheads together. 

 

“This is okay?” Keith breathed. 

 

“Yeah,” Lance gasped. “This is okay.”

 

Keith kissed like he fought. Their lips pressed together for a moment before Keith took control, nipping at Lance’s bottom lip. Lance smiled into the kiss and Keith took full advantage of Lance’s open mouth by slipping his tongue past his lips. Lance groaned and met Keith halfway, fisting a handful of soft hair and pulling gently. The noise Keith made was one Lance wished he could record and repeat for the rest of his life. The two kissed until their lips tingled with overuse. They stayed, foreheads pressed together, breathing in each other's air. Earth continued to spin in the background. 

 

Keith’s hand found its way to Lance’s chest, over where the mark had been. The healing pod had erased the scar, but Lance still sometimes felt the ghosting movements of the nightmare that had lived inside of him. 

 

“I’ll be alright.” Lance assured him. He knew it would take some time to completely recover from what should’ve been his demise. 

 

“I’ll be there.” 

 

“I know.”

 

Lance wrapped an arm around Keith’s broad shoulders and pulled him close. Happiness making his heart swell.

 

“I know.” 

**Author's Note:**

> not looking for any criticisms on this, it was just for fun. i know the science made no sense and there were other possible endings but oh well! i hope this was enjoyable. love y'all.  
> ((i made a vld blog @ bilanceual.tumblr.com come yell at me!))


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